Amazing Grace

so I have been here in Louisiana for 5 weeks. Most mission trips I have gone on...well all mission trips I have gone on have never exceeded 2 weeks. Why is it that we always think we have so much time to accomplish things?  

Last night, we had a talk with Terry, he is a member of the church here and a great guy who follows Christ. It's who us girls have been living with for the past week too. Anyways...he had a long talk with us about why we are here and how, basically, we haven't done it. Now it seems kind of harsh but that's how it's done in the south, its harsh until you can get it through your head. We needed it, at least I know I did.  

I won't go into details but I have not been using this trip as an opportunity to reach out to people. And that hurts! I had a rude awakening last night when I was completely broken by God because I realized I have been cheating him this entire time. Praying for opportunities to talk to people about God then turning away from the ones who fall right in my lap because I was tired, or hungry, or whatever. God broke my heart last night because I have been breaking his.

What absolutely blows me away, and it becomes real in situations like last night, is how AMAZING God is. I have been realizing more and more how undeserving I am of his grace and love and yet its always there. I have had my heart broken once in my life and it was one of the worst pains I have ever felt. I break Gods heart day in and day out...and he is still right there with open arms ready for me to run back to him. How? I am in total awe of this God we live for.  

I now have one week left. I DO NOT want to waste it. Please pray for boldness and courage. I want to step out and be the person God brought me here to be.